on Friendships

There are times when you do something because you think it’s the right thing to do, or because you think you’re doing that thing for the best. There are other times when you let your emotions take control and suddenly you do things that, to you, are fine, but to others, may or may not be as fine. 

This academic year is over and I had decided to look back on that year with my dad the other day. I realized that day that I had messed up throughout the year. I’ve learned that a friendship should never be measured by how often you and your friends talk. Just because you and X talk almost every day, if not every day, doesn’t mean that the two of you have a healthy friendship. My dad gave me the example of his best friends from school. He told me that he and friend A only see each other once or twice every 2-3 years. He and friend B occasionally see each other, and sometimes 5-6 years go by without him talking to friend C on the phone or on Facebook. But do you know what my dad told me? He told me that even if all his friends are away, and that he barely talks to them on social media or barely even sees them, he fully enjoys their company once they get together. He tells me that when they do meet up after a certain while, it’s as if they were never apart. And frankly, I think that’s beautiful. 

Distance shouldn’t be an obstacle for friendship. It’s fine if my best friend and I don’t talk every day. What’s important is that when we see each other in real life, we truly live our friendship; we laugh, we joke around, we share some good stories, and we create some great memories.

Also, I’ve probably talked about this like a million times but I’ll repeat it again. You cannot own friendships. People aren’t ours. Just give them their space, and if they really want to be friends with you, they’ll also call you to make plans and to spend time with you! It wouldn’t be a one-sided effort, and you would face much less disappointments. 

That’s all I have for today. I hope this post was helpful for the ones among you guys who have been through similar situations. Until next time, stay positive, stay elegant, give people their space, smile more often, and keep blogging. 

On a side note, I really wanted to share these song lyrics with you, but there is no proper context to share them. However this song really means to me and it describes an emotional state I’ve spent a lot of time in and I thought you should know about it too. These are two verses from Some Day by Shinedown. 



— Maria H. 

Moments 

“Nick, stop!” Jane screamed as she followed Nick, who was running madly in the streets.

Nick had avoided getting hit by a car several times, but there is nothing that showed he will certainly remain alive if he continues running.

Jane ran recklessly, avoiding buildings and road signs, and tripped. 

She shrieked. She tried to stand up, but her ankle was too swollen. She cried, screamed in pain, and tried finding a way to stand up again but it was useless. She cried a little more and when she lifted her head, she saw a hand extended towards her, there to help her get up. It was Nick. 

“I can’t stand up,” she said.

“Stand on one foot. I’ll carry you.” 

He carried her all the way to the nearest bench and they both sat there. 

“I called an ambulance. They’ll take care of you,” he said.

Jane was silent. 

“Jane, I…”

“I don’t want to hear it. I’m furious. Why in the fucking world would you run like this?” 

“Jane, I was running away because it was the only way.” 

“The only way for what?” she asked.

“This might sound illogical, but it’s the only way to avoid facing my problems. I thought of running as far as I can, running away from it all. I couldn’t stand it, I was going insane.”

Jane sat there silent. 

She said, a little calm now, “Nick, you have no idea what it’s like to have to deal with something that kills you inside.”

“I think I do. All of what I’m facing right now proves that I do,” he said.

“There’s something I need to tell you…” 

“Nick,” she continued, “I…I am jealous and selfish.” 

“You? Selfish? Jealous? How does that even make sense?”
He looked surprised.

“I am fucking jealous of Rosie. I can’t handle the way she gets everyone to like her, nor the way her hair has volume in all the right places, nor the way she aces all her courses, nor the way she’s so good at everything she does, nor the way she took you away from me.”

Jane paused. Nick seemed to be puzzled.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he said, “Take me away from you? Where’s that coming from? You were always okay with me sometimes hanging out with other people.” 

“I thought I was but, Nick, I can’t stand seeing you so happy with her. What happened to Nick and Jane? The incredible duo? Our laughs? Our memories? Our late-night conversations?”

“Nothing has changed,” he continued.

“Oh, it has changed a lot. Nick, I apologized the first time for trying to pull you and Rosie apart but it is killing me inside. I can’t do anything but smile, but in reality, my heart is being torn into a million pieces.”

“I’m selfish because I want you all to myself, Nick Dawson. I don’t like it when Rosie interrupts our chats, when you talk about how much fun you two are having together. In fact, that breaks my heart.” 

“…It breaks my heart to see you so happy with someone else.” 

Nick remained silent, looked Jane in the eyes, and grabbed her hands.

“Jane, you are the most important person in my life. I would never want to make you feel unwanted or left out or replaced.”

“Well, you did.” 

“Would you let me finish? I have to remind you how special you are to me. And there’s only one way to do it…”

Nick was interrupted by the sound of thunder. The lightning blinded them for a second, and the rain started pouring heavily. 

“Looks like the universe wants to make things special,” Nick said with a smile.

“What’s happening?” 

“Grab my hand. I’m going to sweep you off your feet.” 

“You want to dance?” said Jane, “I can’t stand up.” 

“You don’t have to,” he said.

Nick immediately carried her in his arms and twirled her around about five times, and enjoyed every second her scared laugh.

He put her back on the bench, and she said, “I can’t believe you would spin me like that! Why would you do that?” 

“I want to hear you laugh. I want to hear you scream and hold me tightly because you’re afraid you’d fall. I want to hear you yell at me to put you down. I want to hear your breath as you try to calm down from all the spinning. I want you to love me again.” 

“I love you, Nick, you know that.” 

“The feeling is mutual. Now, anything else I could do for you before the ambulance gets here? It’s about time it arrives.” 

“Well, there is one thing…”

“Name it.”

“Hold me tightly, and protect me from the pouring rain. Hold my hand, and say you won’t let go, even during our darkest times. A promise for our friendship.” 

“Anything you want, milady.” 

He hugged her tightly and kissed the back of her hand. She blushed and they both admired the rain and looked at how wet their clothes got until the ambulance finally showed up. 

A Conversation – II

“Nick! Wait for me!”

Jane was following Nick as he was madly walking in the street.

“I don’t want to talk right now, okay?” yelled Nick.

“Nicolas Joseph Dawson, stop right now!”

Nick stopped walking. I’m not really sure if that’s effect of hearing your full name being called out.

“Why are you so furious?” asked Jane.

“I’m sick of all of you. Each and every single one of you. You tell me to go and find the one I love, and when I do, none of you supports it.”

“Nick, stop. Stop yelling. I have something to tell you…”

“What the hell do you have to say?”

“I did try to pull you and Rosie apart. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…”

“Why in the bloody hell would you do that?! You! Of all people!” screamed Nick.

“That’s because you were ignoring me you fucking jerk!”

“Me?! Ignoring you?! I would never!”

“Oh yeah? When I ask about your day and plans, or simply text you ‘good night’, you don’t answer?!”

Nick let his head go back and then drop forward. He let out a sigh.

“Jane, you know I’m busy…”

“Busy? Busy. Okay, so just tell me how about explaining to me that you’re busy instead of just leaving me hanging like that?!”

“Jane…”

“No, wait, I’m not done. I can’t believe you would do that. After six years of friendship and promises, that’s how you’re acting with me. Nick, I….I love you.

“Jane, Jane. I didn’t mean to hurt you like that. I didn’t think that it would bother you so much. I…”

She shut her eyes and said, “Of course you didn’t think it through.”

She tried to walk away, but Nick held her arm and turned her around. They were looking at each other, eye-to-eye.

“Let me finish. Jane, not talking to you was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I’m so sorry. The thing is, Rosie is the jealous type. So I couldn’t make her feel unwanted. I really like her, so please understand what position I’m in. I’m so so sorry.”

Jane was speechless. Never had she thought Nick would be the kind of boyfriend who’d go out of his -say- way for someone else.

“It’s okay,” she finally said.

“I’ll try not to ignore you anymore. Friends don’t do that to each other. Best friends don’t do that to each other either, and they add hugs. Thank you for forgiving me. Come here.”

They hugged.

“I forgive you, yeah. But I still can’t believe you’d ignore me like that. You’ve never been so distant.”

“I can’t stand not talking to you or feeling like I’ve been replaced in your life,” said the inner voice inside her head. 

A Conversation

Jane Roberts, 17 years old.
Gwen Keller, the best friend, 17 years old.

Saturday, May 5th, 4:30 P.M.

“Jane,” said Gwen, “After I transferred to another school in California, I wasn’t able to keep up with the news.”

“What news?”

“You know, our ‘squad’s’ news. How’s everyone? Rebecca? Mike? Tracy? Nick?

Jane shrugged.

“Well,” she began, “We’re all fine. Tracy and Mitchel Turner have been a couple for almost two weeks now. Rebecca has finally joined the drama club and Nick is officially captain of the football team.”

“Speaking of Nick,” interrupted Gwen, “What a transformation! I didn’t recognize him! I mean now, without the poindexter glasses and after the insane acne treatment, he looks amazing.”

Jane contemplated the latte she had ordered  few minutes ago. She started twirling her spoon in the cup, and observed the swirly outcome.

“Jane? Jane! What? Jane!” Gwen was snapping her fingers.

“What?!”

“I started talking to you about this cool new clothing store down the block but you weren’t listening. What’s wrong?”

Jane could feel her heart racing.

“Nothing, nothing. My swirly latte is pretty…mesmerizing.”

Did you really think a girl would be able to fool her best friend?

“Tell me.”

Jane bit her lip and finally confessed, “Okay. The thing is Nick has a crush on Rosie, the new girl. He’s been talking to her most of the time…”

“He likes someone? That’s adorable!” exclaimed Gwen.

“Yeah, adorable. Anyway, you know that Nick is also my best friend. He’s been so distant lately. He won’t tell me what’s wrong, he’s always looking at his phone when I’m talking to him, he never shuts up about Rosie, recently he’s only been talking to me about all ‘Rosie’s girly acts’ that he can’t seem to understand, he’s really cold and dull whenever we’re having a conversation, he sees my messages but doesn’t answer and basically he’s ignoring me.”

Gwen wiped away her grin.

“Oh, my. But as his best friend you should be supportive of his likes and dislikes and interests…unless, you know, you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous. I’m just really upset that this girl is coming between us, that she is his prio…heck. Nick has never been so distant with me. He’s barely talking to me these days and I don’t like it. How rude are you to see a message but not answer?!”

“Jane, calm down.”

“Sorry. But when I ran into Rosie in the hallway, I bumped into Tony Parker and dropped my books. She picked them up for me. She’s really nice, and just after she walked with me till the end of the hallway, she told me that Nick’s been trusting her a lot, and he shared with her whatever he had to share.”

Gwen grinned again.

“Ohhhhh. So that’s what’s bothering you! He’s sharing his happy thoughts and discussing his problems with someone else.”

“I don’t know, Gwen. That used to be us. We used to talk about everything and now we’re not. The worst part of the story is realizing how hurt I am. So, I’m trying my best to always stick by his side. More than Rosie. More than anyone else. I’ll admit it…I’m fighting the hardest for a tiny leftover place in his life.”

 

 

 

To My Best Friends

Yesterday was #InternationalDayOfFriendship. (yes, as usual I’m late)

On this occasion, I would like to thank you all so much for sticking with me when I wouldn’t have stuck with myself. Thank you for helping me through the rough times and making me realize there’s a lot more to this life than what I was able to see at the time.

I probably wasn’t the best at a lot of things, I’ve messed up a few times, one of us made a little mistake that created so much tension, we had our disagreements, we fought, we laughed, and we made up.

I don’t know how it happened, this friendship. I don’t know how what we have hasn’t fallen apart yet. Imagine all our different ideologies, cultures, backgrounds, histories, characters all combined to form the – allow me to say it – fantastic group we are today!

However, what I know is that I can always count on you.

I probably got mad over trivial things. I probably blamed you for stuff that was actually stupid. You probably did the same with me. But heck, it’s behind us now.

Remember, dear best friends, that you mean the world to me even if we have our differences, and even if we disagree sometimes.

On this day, I wish to always have you by my side, because God knows when I will need a shoulder to lean on, or someone to laugh with.

Happy International Day of Friendship!

Truth

Every girl deserves to have a guy best friend. It’s totally different from a girl best friend, honestly.

One day, for my birthday, he took me for a walk on the beach.

As we were walking, he grabbed me by the shoulders, and said to me, “I need to tell you something.”

I’m not going to lie to you, I was worried.

“What’s up?” I said.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you…for a little while now,” and then added, “You do know I have a crush on Rosie, right?”

“Of course I do. You told me yourself.”

“Well, ever wondered why I told you?” he said, reluctantly.

“Because I’m your best friend?”

“Technically, I wanted to see how you would react, and you were so chill about it. Jane, the day we met was the greatest day of my life. I was so lucky to have met someone as talented and fun as you are. I loved you.”

“You…what?” I said, surprised and a little confused.

“Yes, I liked you, Jane. But when you told me you weren’t interested in relationships, it was hard for me. I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship, though. I need you.”

I bit my lip, showing a little hesitation.

And then I finally said, “Since we’re admitting things, I have something to tell you as well. The day we met was also one of the most amazing days of my life. We joked around, made each other listen to various songs, and laughed at stuff that were actually kind of ridiculous. Then, I grew attached to you. That’s why I want to apologize for every time you weren’t really in the mood to talk to me, and yet I “forced” you into having a conversation. So, that made me kind of clingy, and I’m sorry if I ever bothered you.”

“You didn’t bother me…?” he said.

“Yeah, okay, you can tell me that. But the reason for that is, like I said, that I grew attached to you. I mean, you’re such an amazing person and you’ve always been there for me no matter what, and I couldn’t afford to lose you, or to not talk to you every day. I love you so much, Nick. And you know that. And when I found out you had a crush on Rosie, and that you wanted to talk to her all the time, I didn’t know what to do besides talk to you more, regardless of how useless the topic of conversation was. That’s why I want to apologize, too.”

I couldn’t believe I had just said all of this.

Nick simply looked at me, with no idea about what to say.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, he finally said, “You don’t have to worry about me talking to another girl, even though I’m surprised you’re jealous.”

Was I jealous?

He then stood up — we sat on the ground in the middle of the conversation — and he helped me stand up. And before I noticed, he hugged me tightly. “I love you, Jane. You truly are an amazing friend. What would I do without you?”

That hug.
All my broken pieces,
were put back together.

“I love you too, Nick. Promise me you’ll always be there.”

“I promise,” he said, hugging me tighter.

“Don’t let go just yet, though.”

To my Best Friend

I want to thank you. For everything.

You were by my side when no one else was, and you made me laugh when I was at my worst.

You were always there.

I’ve known you for a while now, and I want you to know how much you mean to me.

We may have our little disagreements every now and then, but we sure do make a great pair of friends.

The best part of our friendship is that we have common interests which, to others, might seem trivial. I mean, people would laugh at what we have in common.

I’m happy to have met you, and honestly I wouldn’t have wanted my life to be otherwise.

You’re such an amazing person, and you’re really the friend anyone would want to have.

You also have great taste in music.

I’ll do my best to return the favor, and be the friend I’m supposed to be; always there whenever you’re in need of a little cheer-up or even a hug.

Thank you, best friend, I love you.