on Friendships

There are times when you do something because you think it’s the right thing to do, or because you think you’re doing that thing for the best. There are other times when you let your emotions take control and suddenly you do things that, to you, are fine, but to others, may or may not be as fine. 

This academic year is over and I had decided to look back on that year with my dad the other day. I realized that day that I had messed up throughout the year. I’ve learned that a friendship should never be measured by how often you and your friends talk. Just because you and X talk almost every day, if not every day, doesn’t mean that the two of you have a healthy friendship. My dad gave me the example of his best friends from school. He told me that he and friend A only see each other once or twice every 2-3 years. He and friend B occasionally see each other, and sometimes 5-6 years go by without him talking to friend C on the phone or on Facebook. But do you know what my dad told me? He told me that even if all his friends are away, and that he barely talks to them on social media or barely even sees them, he fully enjoys their company once they get together. He tells me that when they do meet up after a certain while, it’s as if they were never apart. And frankly, I think that’s beautiful. 

Distance shouldn’t be an obstacle for friendship. It’s fine if my best friend and I don’t talk every day. What’s important is that when we see each other in real life, we truly live our friendship; we laugh, we joke around, we share some good stories, and we create some great memories.

Also, I’ve probably talked about this like a million times but I’ll repeat it again. You cannot own friendships. People aren’t ours. Just give them their space, and if they really want to be friends with you, they’ll also call you to make plans and to spend time with you! It wouldn’t be a one-sided effort, and you would face much less disappointments. 

That’s all I have for today. I hope this post was helpful for the ones among you guys who have been through similar situations. Until next time, stay positive, stay elegant, give people their space, smile more often, and keep blogging. 

On a side note, I really wanted to share these song lyrics with you, but there is no proper context to share them. However this song really means to me and it describes an emotional state I’ve spent a lot of time in and I thought you should know about it too. These are two verses from Some Day by Shinedown. 

— Maria H. 

New Beginnings

We can put it all behind us.

There is no need to spend the summer miserable, thinking of what we could’ve done. There is no need to remember all the tears that have been wasted on people who made us feel bad or unimportant. There is no need to remember that our high school crushes actually never liked us back. There is no need to think of all the failed tests, or all the negative attitudes of others, or all the jealousy that has been born, or all the drama that has been created over the past years.

High school is officially over. I graduated. It’s all behind me now.

I would like to thank my parents and friends for always sticking by my side and for reminding me that failure will never define who we are. They played a big part in molding me into the person I am today.

All I can hope for is a promising future, and a bright college experience.


April 30th, 2017

I believe I have gathered enough “life lessons” to write a decent inspiring post.

I would like to begin by telling you that no matter how tough the obstacles you’re facing might seem, and no matter how impossible you think life’s being at the moment, it’s important to remember that time always makes things better. When you give things time, without trying to interfere every now-and-then, things eventually get better. Time offers people the chance to look back on whatever has happened. For example, if two friends had an argument, the logical thing to do would be for one of them to apologize. The problem in many cases is that none of the people involved in the argument accepts to admit that s/he is wrong. However, if this is the case, I suggest that each person gives things some time, because the others would still he enraged, and having a discussion with someone who’s mad never goes far. Give the others 2-3 days to calm down (and don’t bring up the subject before then), and that is when you can try to fix things. Time heals.

Another thing I would like to talk about is learning to not be selfish. And by that I don’t mean selfish as in not giving others anything, but as wanting your favorite people only to yourself. Let me elaborate because I am haunted the most by that bad trait. My best friend and I talk every day, and I introduced that friend to my other friends and I was completely cool. But with the years, I started feeling like my best friend and my other friends clicked so well and I had no place in my best friend’s life anymore (yes, maybe I’m overdramatizing it). The sad part is that I started blaming myself for introducing my best friend to other people! The thing I want to tell you is that people can’t be yours. We would love it if they could, but they can’t. And perhaps it’s all in your head. I’m pretty sure your best friends love you a lot (and I do mean a lot) but you have to give them their space! I know it hurts to see your best friend and other friends bonding so well, when you know it’s what you and your best friend always had, but that’s life, and you can’t really stop it. It definitely hurts, and I get it, but you can’t go up to the person and say “hey, no talking to anybody else but me.” 

The last “lesson” I want to mention goes as follows: 

Never, ever, under any circumstances, think that everyone is better than you are. Certainly there are people who are smarter, prettier, or funnier than you are but that doesn’t mean that everyone is better than you are. I am 100% sure that you are extraordinary, that you have a gift the people who are prettier/smarter/funnier would die to have! You are incredible just the way you are, and somewhere out there is someone who will think that you are nothing less than phenomenal. 

That was it for this post, and I would like to tell all the fellow readers out there that  yes, I do talk to you like I’ve had my entire life figured out, but in reality I don’t. Obviously. But these are things you are taught and things you learn every day of your life, and spreading morals and life lessons is actually a good way to grow and turn to the better. Never settle for less than what you deserve, learn to live and be happy even if it takes time, give without taking, love unconditionally, forgive the haters, forgive your mistakes, and keep blogging. 

Quick Reminder

It’s been a while since I last posted anything, but I’ve been really busy lately. Between school activities, extracurriculars, my studies, and family commitments, it’s hard to find the correct time to blog and to actually think and write. 

I won’t blabber much. I’m just here to tell you a thing or two. First of all, the most essential thing in life is to always be there for the people who need you. When someone needs a shoulder to cry on, be there for that person. When a friend needs to take a load off his/her chest, be the one who listens. The feeling of serenity you’ll feel afterwards is beyond satisfying. Not only have you helped someone out, directly or indirectly, but you’ve also been able to achieve inner peace. 

Also, be thankful for what you have. Lately, I made a decision to stop complaining and learn to accept and be happy with what I have. It worked fine the first week, so I’m trying to make it a lifestyle. Be thankful for your friends. At least I know I am. My friends are incredible, and I don’t know what I’d do without them. Be thankful for your family. No bond is stronger than the one that connects a man and a woman to their children. Family is irreplaceable. And lastly, instead of focusing on the negatives, learn to embrace the positives. 

That’s all I have to say. Put a smile on your face, be good to others, and be kind. You’re awesome, remember that. 

Musical Favorites (Top 10)

Here is a list of my most favorite songs, with a little choice explanation. Picking a top 10 was the hardest thing ever, considering there are many amazing songs out there. The following songs made the cut nonetheless:

10. Whiskey Lullaby — Brad Paisley

If you know this song, you can probably understand why it gets me. It is one of the few songs that can genuinely pass on the sadness and the pain to the person listening.

“He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger, and finally drank away her memory. Life is short but this time it was bigger than the strength he had to get up off his knees. We found him with his face down in the pillow, with a note that said ‘I’ll love her till I die’. And when we buried him beneath the willow…the angels sang a whiskey lullaby.”

9. Hero — Enrique Iglesias

I just love this song so much because it talks about loyalty, wanting to be there for your lover, and wanting to be with the one you love forever.

“I can be your hero, baby. I can kiss away the pain. I will stand by you forever. You can take my breath away.”

8. Here Without You — 3 Doors Down

BIG CLASSIC. This song never fails to depress me, I’m sorry. But I love it because of the lyrics and the emotions felt, and because the song expresses how much someone’s absence in our lives can affect us, mostly negatively.

“A hundred days have made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face. A thousand lies have made me colder, and I don’t think I can look at this the same. But all the miles that separate, disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face.” 

7. The Way — Jeremy Camp

You might know this, and you might not, but I’m a Christian believer. This song talks about Jesus, the Way, and about His Glory. Honestly, the lyrics, vocals, and the music, give me shivers down my spine.

“And Your glory shines all around us. Your faithfulness shown for all to see. When we think of all of Your wonders, the beauty of Your plan that’s been revealed, we walk in Your light, we walk in it. Shine bright, let Your glory fill this land. Lift high, the King of Kings and great I am…Jesus, You are the way.”

6. Perfect — P!nk

Yes, I know this isn’t the original song title, but I initially downloaded the radio edit version. What I love about this song is that it reflects the life of most teenagers (feeling unloved, mistaken, misunderstood, being laughed at etc) but it aims to tell people that no matter how society treats them, they are still worth a lot more.

“Pretty, pretty please, don’t you ever, ever feel like you’re less than, less than perfect. Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you’re nothing, you are perfect to me.” 

5. Never Too Late — Three Days Grace

I’m going to quote Three Days Grace’s old vocalist for this one because it sums up everything: “This song is about feeling like you wanna give up on everything, it’s about feeling like you don’t really belong here anymore, and it’s about feeling like wanting to sort of end everything…but, really, this song is about not giving up at all.”

“Even if I say it’ll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. Now and again we try to just stay alive. Maybe we’ll turn it all around ’cause it’s not too late, it’s never too late.” 

4. The Reason — Hoobastank

This song will be in my “Favorites” playlist for as long as I live because it’s absolutely perfect. The Reason discusses changing to the better for the person you love, and sort of demanding forgiveness for all the mistakes that have been made. THE EMOTIONS ARE REAL.

“I’m not a perfect person. There’s many things I wish I didn’t do, but I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you, and so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know…I found a reason for me to change who I used to be.”

3. Cry Out to Jesus — Third Day

This song must be my all-time favorite worship song. Not only does it portray how amazing Jesus is, but it also urges each and every single one of us to seek and find refuge in Him, to ask for His help in times of sorrow and pain because He will make it better.

“There is hope for the helpless, rest for the weary, and love for the broken hearts. There is grace and forgiveness, mercy and healing… He’ll meet you wherever you are. Cry out to Jesus.” 

2. What a Shame — Shinedown

This song is a masterpiece. It talks about a man who killed himself because of a judgemental society. It tries to tell people that we are begging society to realize that we are all different and it shouldn’t judge people because of who they are, and yet it still does.

“What a shame, what a shame, to judge a life that you can’t change. The choir sings, the church bells ring, so won’t you give this man his wings? What a shame to have to beg you to see we’re not all the same. What a shame.”

1. Summer of ’69 — Bryan Adams

Those who know me certainly know that this is my favorite song. I guess the feelings of reminiscence in that song are powerful enough for me to want to listen to it 10 times in a row, and basically I love every second of it.

“And now the times are changing, look at everything that’s come and gone. Sometimes, when I play that ol’ six-string, I think about you, wonder what went wrong.”  

August 27th, 2016

You know when you feel like you’re fighting for that one tiny place in someone’s life? When you feel selfish when it comes to that person? When you try your best to show that you’re always by that person’s side, but s/he chooses someone else?

How does that make you feel?

Now, this is the saddest thing I’ve ever said:

That place you’re fighting for may seem so precious to you, so you want to preserve it. The memories you’re striving for are the ones worth keeping. But, sadly, you’ll realize that, at many times, your presence in the other person’s life is not as relevant and important as you thought it was. The other person’s life would be the same…with or without you.

I know it hurts. Trust me. But you know, there’s always this tiny flame of hope. It’s that only living rose in a bouquet of dead roses…that one thing that keeps you going. It’s that little feeling of comfort that motivates you to keep fighting. That ounce of hope is there for a reason: to make you realize that the world doesn’t go on without you.

Take a moment. Breathe.

There are seven billion souls on this planet. There’s always going to be someone else, a new face. It’s not easy to pursue your daily routine with a hole in your heart, I know, but I promise you that there will always be someone who will love you, who will absentmindedly smile when s/he sees your face, and who will purposely make a safe place in his/her life for you to rest in.

Yes, people do change. One day you feel like you mean the world to them, and the other you feel like you never existed. It’s normal.

But what I want to say is step out of your surroundings and meet new people. Go find that friend or lover who makes you feel loved and appreciated. And most importantly, remain gentle and nice with the people who hurt you, not because you’re weak, but because you’d be the bigger person. They’ll realize that if they — purposely — hurt you, they were wrong, and if they didn’t hurt you on purpose, you would have given them a reason to want to start over.

So remember the following: be nice to everyone, smile, go on adventures, think wisely, and never let someone bring you down.

August 16th, 2016.

Okay so I’m here, right now, to write. About everything that’s going on in my mind at the moment.

For starters, I think that there’s much more to this life than what we give it credit for. I do. I mean, seriously, we always blame the universe for everything bad that has ever happened to us. We always look at the downsides of everything, and we can’t seem to realize all the good things that we encounter every. Single. Day. That man helping an elderly lady you saw the other day wasn’t just a normal instant. Doesn’t it push you to do good deeds? Well I may be giving you a very trivial example, but the -say- message is there. Life isn’t just here to stand in your way and make you feel like a failure. Okay, perhaps we all mess up, or we see that things didn’t go as planned; however, it won’t all be like that. I think we should all take a moment to look at all we’ve accomplished, all we were given, and all the blessings we have. If you haven’t made a difference yet, keep trying. Life won’t stand in the way of your devotion for long.

Another thing I’d like to talk about is the fact that no matter how many times I tell my close friends that we should always be honest to each other, I feel like there are things I just can’t talk about. Not because these certain matters are conspiratorial, or dangerous, but because there’s always this fear of the other person’s reaction. Will that person think I’m desperate? Or demanding attention? Will that person drift further away from me? I perpetually have this fright that the other person will end up even farther away from me than s/he was at the start. So, yeah, I keep some things to myself, and just accept them as they are. It’s a little sad, but I can’t really do anything about it.

One more thing is the negativity that seems to be widespread nowadays. Everyone is always tense, stressed, depressed, mad, loathsome, judgmental, and over-demanding. You find hate and criticism everywhere. On all social media. In schools. Everywhere. I’ve been a Twitter user since 2010, and I’d like to say that there is more hate and bullying on that network than you can imagine. In fact, rumors about Twitter getting shut down were circulating because of all the bullying. Just this morning, I read a series of tweets on the matter, and here’s what they say:  “I wish I had the time to start some sort of ‘campaign’ on social media where love and positivity are spread to kick all the hatred in the shins. So much hate and bullying and negativity need to change on here. The Internet is supposed to connect us together in good ways because I’ve come to the realization that even a tiny ounce of positivity can sometimes change your entire mindset for a few days or a week. Just imagine if there’s positivity at every corner of social media you look at. It would be inspiring, honestly.” (Mathew AJ)
We really need to free ourselves from all those negative vibes and start looking at the good things, start being better people, start putting others before ourselves, start working hard and helping others, and start keeping our smart comments to ourselves.

Lastly, I would like to talk about effort. Your endeavor never goes to waste. Failing is okay. You can always start over. Whether you’re putting effort in your studies, work, relationships, or goals, failure and disappointment shouldn’t be a problem. For example, this year has been the most exhausting year of my life (on the school and relationships levels). I was so caught up in maintaining my good grades that whenever they dropped, just a little bit, I broke down. But at the end of the year, I realized that my effort didn’t go to waste. After all, grades aren’t everything. Sure, mine were slightly less than my usual grades, but in the end they are excellent grades nonetheless. And when it came to relationships, I thought that putting too much effort in a friendship – as in remembering tiny details and always wishing the other person a nice day – was a wrong thing to do. Why do I have to be the nice one? Then I noticed that because I remember details and wish people a nice day, they feel at ease when they want to talk to me.

So, this was all I had in mind lately, aside from all the searching-for-a-college fuss. Keep a positive attitude, and keep blogging!