The hardest part is not to overthink. You just can’t help it, even though you know it will kill you. Overthinking is like smoking, just worse. At least the media or, I don’t know, your family members can get you to stop smoking, but they can’t control your thoughts. Smoking can kill you physically, but overthinking kills you on all levels.
Sometimes, I sit alone in my room, and I just think of the quadrillions of things happening in my life, and without my noticing, my eyes start to tear up, I’m not happy anymore. Just like that.
So here is what goes on.
Why can’t I be happy all the time? Why is life always stepping in my way?
Why am I surrounded by so many people but feeling all alone?
Why do I always try to be the best friend for others, but I feel like they don’t even care?
Why is it that whatever I do, it never seems good enough?
Why is it so easy for others to succeed, and it’s so easy for me to fail?
Why do I feel like one day, my closest friends will decide to stab me in the back?
Why is it that I sometimes do so much, but get so little in return?
Why does it bother me when my friends get to see you more than I do?
Do I have trust issues? Insecurities?
What’s going on?
A state of utter confusion. That’s what it is.
I looked at my phone. 12AM.
No phone calls.
Where is everyone?
I knew the answer, of course.